Youth

청춘

언젠간 가겠지 푸르른 이 청춘

지고 또 피는 꽃잎처럼

달밝은 밤이면 창가에 흐르는

내 젊은 연가가 구슬퍼

 

가고없는 날들을 잡으려 잡으려

빈손짓에 슬퍼지면

차라리 보내야지 돌아서야지

그렇게 세월은 가는거야

 

나를 두고 간님은 용서하겠지만

날 버리고 가는 세월이야

정둘곳없어라 허전한 마음은

정답던 옛동산 찾는가

 

언젠간 가겠지 푸르른 이 청춘

지고 또 피는 꽃잎처럼

달밝은 밤이면 창가에 흐르는

내 젊은 연가가 구슬퍼

 

가고없는 날들을 잡으려 잡으려

빈손짓에 슬퍼지면

차라리 보내야지 돌아서야지

그렇게 세월은 가는거야

 

언젠간 가겠지 푸르른 이 청춘

지고 또 피는 꽃잎처럼

달밝은 밤이면 창가에 흐르는23

내 젊은 연가가 구슬퍼

Kim Chang Wan

Sullen World

Never have I seen 

such a mess in life. 

The air is pure but 

wearing a mask is 

mandatory.

Roads are empty 

but it is impossible 

to go on long drive.

People have clean 

hands but there is a 

ban on shaking hands.

Friends have time to 

sit together but they 

cannot get together.

The cook inside you 

is crazy, but you cannot 

call anyone for lunch or 

dinner. 

Every Monday, 

the heart longs to go out, but the weekend does not seem to end. 

Those who have money 

have no way to spend it. 

Those who don't have 

money have no way to 

earn it.

There is enough time 

on hand but you can't 

fulfill your dreams. 

The culprit is all around 

but cannot be seen. 

A world full of irony! 

“Be positive but test negative.”

- Author Unknown

Home project

I believe it's safe to say that, one of the positives that Covid-19 has introduced is more time for family and for self care. While it has added a lot of pressure for anyone who takes care of  household work (No gender bias here! 😅), it also has its own perks.

Like for example, finding time to do craft. Post pregnancy my list of priorities changed immensely. Sometimes there's even a battle between work and self care but no battles when it comes to child care - as its always priority #1 for me and my husband. I am one of the fortunate to have a partner who understands my asks and needs as well, not all Indian-working-mother(s) can confidently say this sentence. Sad but true. That said, I still could not find time to do things which aren't productive but keeps me mentally occupied. 

Between office, a teenage toddler 😅 and house hold work, the only time I ever get to quench my thirst for crafts is during Navarathri! A topic very close to my heart, so it deserves a separate post.

So when we painted our house and had a chance to re-decorate, we decided to go with all things handmade. But why hand made? Why not buy and decorate?

I am a person who, when shops, only buys things which can't be made by hand. It's a habit that my mother inculcated in me which I follow to date. She always says, "If you can do it by yourself, don't waste money on it". And again, fortunately for me, I am not a big fan of mass produced stuff. Also if you have ever had a chance to display or gift something you have done by yourself, know the pleasure of creating something from the scratch; that, in itself, is a drug worth getting addicted to!

So in this blog and in upcoming ones, I will post some of my small projects which I have created for the purpose of decoration only.

I picked up the pain brush almost after 4 years so I hope devi Saraswati, the goddess of all things that you can learn, is kind to me!

I have listed here one of the first projects that I did over the second week of June, 2020. A simple glass painting to hang in the guest bedroom. I browsed through pintrest for some ideas and I specifically liked one that was simple yet can be made colourful. So here it goes!...

This is the first ever picture that I took of the painting. I used a thick glass which I bought from a craft shop called Itsy Bitsy. For lining the painting instead of drawing a line, I used dots to create the borders with Metallic gold Glass liner from Camel, which you can find in any local craft store or on online stores, I have given the link for your reference only. Apart from the glass, I bought everything else it in bulk from a local store.

If you can't find them then you can also use any 3D fabric liners which come in tubes or if nothing else then use tooth pick to do the dots using paint from acrylic paint bottles. 

Before I started the painting, I drew the rough sketch on a paper. Then sealed the corners of the glass with the completed template with a transparent cello tape so that the glass doesn't move while you're working on it. I used Glass colours (Solvent based) by Camel and Glass colours (Water based) by Fevicryl.

Couple of tips while doing glass paintings (specifically for beginners), always start from the center of the glass. It helps you not to smudge your own work while you're painting your way through the corners of the glass. Never mix water based and solvent based colours, I've tried and it becomes gooey on glass and doesn't look good. And always, always work while keeping the glass on an even surface. It takes about 24 hours for any type of glass paint to dry, so patience is a must here.

In the above picture, you can see the dots up close and the glass paint. Since these are dots and as they don't have a definite border, I first coloured the smaller circles and other partitions inside, which doesn't share a border and then did the rest of it.    

Once I finished painting, I took it off the template paper which I had earlier sealed with glass. And here is a picture of the completed painting which is yet to be framed.

Apologies for the picture quality, I'm a bad photographer 😬. I will upload the framed picture once done.

Edit: Here is the framed picture! How does it look?

Declaration:

1. Please note that I do not get any money for any shop/ item referrals, its purely to help craft crazy people like me shop better 😁.

2. All templates that I use for my crafts are mostly inspired by something or the other. I like them to be unique so while you can find some similarities (because I liked the idea), I don't like to copy work. If they are my own productions, I always make sure to mention them explicitly.

Life, is what happens between breaks

Being a mother is a hard job. Yes, irrespective of what the society at large tells you, it is a job! (paid with unconditional love, of course!). It's hard even with a maid, cook and a super-understanding-supporting husband.

It's hard not because of the child, no definitely not. It's hard because of our own expectations of ourselves expectations, put together with the expectations of society, as a woman.  Obviously, problems arise when the reality doesn't match our own expectations of raising a child. These are mostly the pre-set conditions, list of to-do's or unsolicited advice which gets thrown at every single mother on the planet.

So you always are catching up with one or the other. Either trying to be a 'good' mom; if not that, you're behind keeping your work commitments; if not that, you're running around the house to keep it atleast presentable or to keep your parents or extended family commitments; not in any specific order.

With atleast two of the above or sometimes all of the above running at the parallely or consecutively, you literally don't have anytime to look back in the mirror or even look in the mirror on some days.

I can hear myself saying, "...then why all the commitments? Loose one". But I don't want to loose anything. All these people make me happy. Doing all these makes me happy.

So why this post?

I took off today to clean the house. why leave? Because I have or had every other weekend booked for something or the other. And after a long day of cleaning the house I went to workout after which I'm now sitting in the beach after a bottle of water, waiting for my ride back home, relaxing in the cool breeze from the sea.

And  I realised while I'm typing this, in this teeny-tiny pause; a small, simple, insignificant, uncharacteristic moment is where life 'happens' - between the breaks. 

2AM thoughts

Death is always difficult. It's difficult for the living. And it affects all. It doesn't matter if you're close to them. All that matters if you've spoken to them atleast once, in this lifetime.

Death is like a contagious laughter. Ironical?! Yes. You dont have to know the reason, you laugh if the person next to you laughs, because laughter is contagious and you cry if the person next to you cries, because sorrow is contagious too. Just like laughter, sadness affects us too.

It's never easy for the living to watch someone leave your life without as much as a simple wave of goodbye. It's difficult, not because we don't understand it. Of course we understand death. I mean definition wise. We certainly won't know what's beyond, which ever faith you follow, until you die. Whether you wait for your judgement day for ressurection or you join the 72 virgins in heaven or you attain sadgati. You don't know until you do it. That's the beauty of it and that's the terrible catch as well. Which is what makes the lives of living a hell.

Especially if you loved the person who passed on. They pass on; some with pain, some without. But the living definitely go through the pain. You loved them or not, it doesn't matter. You are affected by it. And if you did love them, then your life temporarily becomes a living hell and then even when you move on, there's always a permanent hole in your heart.

You think of so many things which you should have done. So many things which you should have said and so many talks which you could have had. The possibility of all these, ends for those who die. But it doesn't end for the living.

Which is what reminds me of a line from famous literary series -
"Don't pity the dead, pity the living"

-13th March, 2018